Listen

I have something to say.

I am not telling you this because I want to fix or change you. I want more closeness and good times with you, but this problem is like a boulder between us; I can't get around it to get back to you. I want to get it out of the way so I can get back to us. The problem causes me to miss you.

I'm sorry it feels that way, and I want you to know I love you. But I need to get back to the problem because it really affects our relationship.

I am not basing this on one event. I have seen it happen many times over the past few years. I love with you, so it's pretty clear what's going on.

Your involvement is bringing disaster to us. It has totally distanced me from you. I can't feel at all close to you or safe with you. It may ruin our mariage if you do not do something about it. And it is dangerous to you, our kids, and even your job and livelihood. I want you to stop and get help now.

I

I know you aren't comfortable with this topic. I'm not either. But it's important enough to me that i will keep addressing it with you until it's resolved one way or another. Is there another time we can talk, or another way we can talk about it that will be easier for you .

I know this is uncomfortable for you, but I have to insist that we talk sometime soon. What works for you?